The Middlebury Campus

Issue date: 3/14/07 Section: Features

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After a year in Brazil, a country where the cover of Playboy is rarely a shot of the woman's front, I realize that the ass is highly underappreciated in this country. I've never really had an ounce of cleavage, but when it comes to my backside, well, I've got plenty. My butt had never received as much attention as when it was abroad, and frankly, I miss it. And it's not just me: many women and men on campus feel they have a lot going on behind them and that no one is looking. How unfortunate, really, when the butt is such a beautiful thing. It should be celebrated not only in that great pair of jeans or dress that hugs your curves, but also in bed.

There are all sorts of ways that the ass can be incorporated into your sex life. The problem is that you might be more or less comfortable with certain practices than your partner and these issues need to be addressed. But how do you bring up certain topics pertaining to the bottom and all its attributes without (a) making them uncomfortable and (b) ruining the idea by talking it to death? For example, how do you slap someone's ass for the first time? Do you just go for it, hoping not to get punched in the face in retaliation, or do you ask permission first, even when that certainly takes some of the spontaneity out of it? What about foreplay - are you O.K. with your mouth or fingers engaging someone's nether regions and vice versa, and if you are, do you just tell them that or do you wait for them to bring up the subject? Activities such as these are perfectly healthy and enjoyable, but they aren't everyone's cup of tea.

Then, of course, there's anal sex. It can be a tricky subject to bring up because, whether gay or straight, you or your partner might have preconceived notions or hesitations about engaging in such an activity. Or perhaps one of you has tried it and not enjoyed it, while the other gets great pleasure from it. As with all sexual matters, there is a fine line you must tread between pleasing and respecting your partner and enjoying yourself. You should never engage in anything you don't feel comfortable doing, but at the same time there is a lot to be said for keeping an open mind and trying new things. Perhaps it is for these reasons that many men and women I know have engaged in anal activities with long-term partners with whom they feel very comfortable. But if you are simply interested in experimenting and not in a relationship, the key is to be very clear about what you want and what your boundaries are.

The best thing to remember is that your desires are perfectly normal - unless they involve dead chickens or anything that is reminiscent of Pink Flamingos, in which case you might have a problem. The great thing about the butt is that it is a very democratic erogenous zone. We all have one, so we can't engage in that whole penis-vagina argument. There are men that enjoy getting spanked, and there are women who enjoy anal sex. So I suggest you look to the rear for inspiration during your next encounter of the sexual kind, and you might be surprised by what you find.

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